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“The mental image of a bespectacled Benedict bringing his own bagged lunch on a tour of the Boston Public Library? Perfection. That just hit my nerd G-spot.”

via Celebitchy (via apocalyptically)

(via jaggedrain)

911: 911, What is your emergency?
Me: YES, HELLO? THEY'RE RELEASING THE HOBBIT TRAILER TOMORROW.
911: OH MY FUCKING GOD, MA'AM JUST STAY CALM, WE'LL GET AN AMBULANCE TO YOU RIGHT AWAY. SHIT SON.

shingekinokyojinheaven:

he just became like 50% carrot

How Long is this Fic Really?: A Guide

wholocked-in-221-b:

orangelemonart:

professortennant:

Word count in the HP Series: 

Sorcerer’s Stones: 76,944 
Chamber of Secrets: 85,141
Prisoner of Azkaban: 107,253 
Goblet of Fire: 190,637
Order of the Phoenix: 257,045
Half-Blood Prince: 168,923
Deathly Hallows: 198,227

Word count in the LOTR Series:

The Hobbit: 95,022
Fellowship of the Ring: 177,227
Two Towers: 143,436
Return of the King: 134,462

This changed me

this is going to come in handy one day…

kinpunshou:

so this morning i was playing with the slow-mo mode on my phone, hoping to get a majestic vid of a bumblebee taking off
but instead i found this dumbfuck

kinpunshou:

so this morning i was playing with the slow-mo mode on my phone, hoping to get a majestic vid of a bumblebee taking off

but instead i found this dumbfuck

conquerorwurm:

Scary monsters  (◡‿◡✿)

People turning into scary monsters (⊙‿⊙✿)

People turning into scary monsters and suffering from crippling crises of identity while struggling to maintain their sense of self worth and convince people not to be scared of them (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

shipsnotdrugs:

so my friend and i were home alone and naturally we ordered a pizza

we had a simple request

image

so when the doorbell rang we were super excited but our delivery person was this really confused old guy

he was like, “i’m sorry, but i don’t know what the heck a TARDIS is, so i drew the closest thing i could think of”

image

he drew us a tortoise

god bless this man

i gave him a twenty and told him to keep the change

captainofthejilyship:

Sirius Black is totally the kind of rebellious teenager that dresses up as a muggle for Halloween, use muggle insults or cusses around the house, packs pens and pencils for Hogwarts and sends Walburga Christmas cards where he’s sitting upon his motorbike in jeans and a leather jacket

quixon:

thebigblackwolfe:

frantzfandom:

girilla-warfare:

the-average-gatsby:

the-average-gatsby:

how do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber

ask them to pronounce “unionized”

Holy fuck thats clever

It took me 5 minutes to get this

FUCK

Oh fuck you.

Smart people jokes be like